I hadn't really thought about how quiet I have been. I think I am just tired. Really, really tired. All this waiting has finally caught up with me. I have tried so hard to stay busy and not think about things that my batteries finally wore out and I just crashed.
On top of that I find myself wanting my guys close to me. Just lots of family time. So that means when Todd got the call from his boss to come back to Chattanooga I wasn't very excited. Like always, he was so thoughtful. He came and sat down and told me about the job. His first words were, "Mom, I know that this is a really inconvenient time. I won't go if you don't want me to go." How could I be so selfish? When he drove out the driveway I cried a lot of tears.
So as I sit down this morning to drink my coffee and pray and pull myself back together the first thing I see is the sign on my bookshelf that says, "Be still and know." I kind of inwardly grown. "Lord, being still means waiting. Waiting seems like all we have been doing and I am getting tired of waiting. Frankly, I am getting.... impatient." There it was. Impatience. The opposite of patience which is the fruit of the Spirit. That is what He was trying to point out to me.
So I go to that section in Psalms and read:
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Wow! Those two tiny verses just exude the power of God. His authority and protection over our lives. Reading them gave me such peace. No wonder He tells us to be still and know. Is there anything I could possibly say to explain what an amazing, awesome, almighty, incredible God I serve? Mere words could not begin to touch his majesty.
In just a few minutes in His presence I am reminded of how small my problems truly are and how big my God truly is. We have seven more days until we get on the plane to go to MD Anderson. Each one is a gift from Him.
Thy Will Be Done.