Monday, February 1, 2010

You Are A Homeschooling Mom

Your children never, ever leave the “why?” stage.

You look at every room in your home to try and imagine how to squeeze in another bookshelf.

You turn your china cabinet into book shelves.  (but your husband says NO!)

You are on a first name basis with the librarian.

Even your shower curtain has been turned into a educational experience (a world map).

You ask for, and get, a copier instead of a diamond tennis bracelet for your wedding anniversary.

Your kids think reading history is best accomplished while lying on the floor with their head resting on the side of their patient dog.

Your husband can walk in at the end of a long day and tell how the science experiment went just by looking at the house.

You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.

Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.

The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.

You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.

If your child gets drugs at school, it’s probably Tylenol.

Your neighbors and family think you are insane.

Your kids learn new vocabulary from their extensive collection of “Calvin & Hobbes” books.

Your formal dining room now has a computer, copy machine, and many book shelves and there are educational posters and maps all over the walls.

You have meal worms growing in a container….on purpose.

If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re having a PTA meeting.

Talking out loud to yourself is a parent/teacher conference.

You take off for a teacher in-service day because the principal needs clean underwear.

You can’t make it through a movie without pointing out the historical inaccuracies.

You step on math manipulatives on your pre-dawn stumble to the bathroom.

The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.

If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.

Someday your children will consider you to be a miracle-working expert and will turn to you for advice.

You can’t put your produce in your cart without asking your older student to estimate its weight and verify its accuracy.

The question, "What about socialization?" has become the funniest joke ever.

You live in a one-house schoolroom.

(Portions of this list found at heartofwisdom)


K Storm said...

You go, Girl!!

Shelby said...

That was hilarious -- except for the meal worms part, that was gross! Thanks for the chuckles. It almost -- ALMOST -- makes me wish I had homeschooled my boys. I'm glad it's going well and such a blessing for you guys.

Dr. Wifey said...

ROTFL cute!

HEATHER said...

LOVE it!