Sunday, March 20, 2011

Regret Free Parenting and GIVEAWAY (Now Closed)

Every mother wants her children to grow up happy, healthy, and fulfilled. But reaching that destination can be full of indecision, worry, and second-guessing. Ask any mother, "Do you think you're doing a good job?" and she’ll likely give you a mixed answer. In her groundbreaking book, Regret-Free Parenting, Catherine Hickem offers seven principles for mothers to raise their children well . . . and know they’re doing it right.

With nearly thirty years of experience as a psychotherapist, speaker, women's ministry director, and founder of Intentional Moms, Catherine Hickem shows how to build respect, companionship, trust, and emotional health as well as how to usher confident, centered, and secure adults into the world. If any mother has ever wondered, am I raising a good kid and am I doing it right? she needs the impactful teaching of Regret-Free Parenting.

For the latest updates on Catherine join her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter, or visit her website.

Book Review

You are probably asking the same thing I did when I first saw the cover of the book.   Regret Free?   Really?!?     I have been a Mom for almost 14 years now.    Are you kidding me?   

I'll be honest.   I started reading this book with a very negative attitude.    I was having a challenging Mom week.    Our schedule was packed, school lessons were challenging for everyone including me, and the boys have been going through one of their "pick on each other" phases.    The last thing I wanted to do was read a parenting book much less one that had already given me a guilt trip before I read the first page.

However, once I started reading the book I discovered it was a very easy read.    She didn't make me feel guilty at all.     Despite the fact that Ms. Hickem is very educated and very knowledgeable, she writes as though she is just talking to you as a friend.     Her style is open and honest.

She focuses not on our kids as much as she focuses on us.   The saying "If Mama ain't happy, nobody is happy" is not one she uses, but rang true in a lot of what she said.     She explores how a woman is raised shapes the type of mother she becomes herself.     Wow!   Isn't that the truth?   I know that my own childhood definitely played a huge role in my decisions on how to parent my own boys.

I also appreciated the chapter on living peacefully during the teenage years.    Thankfully that is not a problem for my sweet Big Guy and I.   However, I know that the independent stage is coming and I want that time to be peaceful for our family as a whole.

Ms. Hickem's key "word" for the book is intentional.   She believes if you are intentional in your parenting then that is how you can be regret free.       Again, borrowing a popular phrase, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."     I believe that being intentional in making good choices and relying on God's grace are definitely the key to being the best parent you can be.     Being insured that you will never make a mistake or have a regret.    I don't believe that.

When I was about two-thirds through the book, my husband asked me about the book.   I told him that one of my only complaints was that I thought the book had the wrong title.    Ms. Hickem calls her book Regret Free Parenting, but she doesn't include dads in the book at all.   It is entirely focused on moms and their role as a parent.     Parenting as a definition to me is mom AND dad raising children.     Although ultimately I enjoyed this book more than I thought I was going to, one of the major errors of this book is putting the entire burden of raising the kids on the mom.


Thank you Thomas Nelson for the copies you sent to share with my blogger friends!   All copies have now been claimed!  

Disclaimer:  As part of Thomas Nelson BRB, I did receive these books for free.  The fact that I received complimentary products does not guarantee a favorable review.  It does guarantee a review. A fair review. But I am not going to praise something unless I think it deserves the praise.  If I don't like it, you'll hear that.  And hopefully with enough detail as to why so you can decide for yourself if what I hate about it makes it perfect for your family


Allison said...

Deanna, I'd love to read this. I know that in your situation, you and Donald are very much parenting together, however, I would say that the majority of the moms that I know are doing the bulk of the work in the parenting department. Myself included. It's not how things SHOULD be, obviously, but even in my own childhood, I would say my mom did more of the "parenting" than my dad. I guess I don't find it odd that she would write the book TO moms. I don't see a lot of fathers out there stressing over whether or not they are doing a good job raising their kids. Kinda sad, but it seems to be the case.

Ken Wert said...

Just came across your blog today and so far have enjoyed what I've read!

I would have to read the book to really be able to tell what the author means by "regret free parenting."

Nonetheless, it seems to me that regret free parenting is the same as "perfect parenting."

And since there is no such thing as perfect parenting, we're going make mistakes from time to time and regret a few of them.

That, or regret free parenting is the same as parenting without much reflection! How else can perfect beings seek out imperfect ones and begin mentoring them to full recovery.

Allison: Just so you know, there are guys who truly believe their most fundamental role is that of parent.

More specifically, moral growth is my highest responsibility.

Ken Wert said...

Oops! That was just embarrassing! Way past my bedtime as made evident in the comment I just left. I began falling asleep as I typed and wrote some gibberish!

Here's what I meant to say:

That, or regret free parenting is the same as parenting without much reflection! How else can imperfect beings inevitably make mistakes parenting and not regret the mistakes?

Again, while I agree that more dads do need to step up to the parenting plate, still, there are dads out there who recognize the need to be an active player teaching our kids to be men of character.

Emily said...

Deanna, this book sounds like a great read.
I have less than two years of parenting under my belt and am constantly wondering if I'm doing a good job!

Emily from Nap Time Is My Time

Allison said...

Ken, I absolutely know that those Dads exist - I just find them few and far between. Or maybe I need to widen my circle.

Heather said...

This looks like a fantastic book!

Deanna said...

I would love to send each of you a copy of this book! If you would email me your address (, I would be happy to get the book in the mail to you.

I will be interested in your thoughts on this book. I think I am going to reread this book during the summer when school isn't in session and our activity schedule isn't so crazy. I purposely try not to overschedule my boys, but this time of year always winds up so busy for us. I think my frustration with my schedule has somewhat affected my view of this book.

Taylor & Krisa said...

I have this book to review, too!