Why Do I Hesitate?

I was in such a hurry.   I was reciting my list over and over in my head, "bath rug, hair dryer, and washcloths".   That is what I do when I walk into any store without my list written down.   But this wasn't just any store.   This was Wal-Mart.   I despise shopping in Wal-Mart.   Wal-Mart without a list?   A nightmare of the worst kind, but a necessity since I had to make the best use of my time.    Little Guy was in class and I only had an hour until I had to pick him up and turn our one and only car over to Big Guy for the rest of the day.    So my goal was to hurry and focus.   But...

I kept running into this one lady.   She didn't speak to me.   She didn't even make eye contact.   She just seemed to be on every aisle that I walked down.    She was very well dressed for 7:45 in the morning.   Her buggy was completely empty with the exception of one thing: a stack of books.   I am not sure how to describe them except "romantic/smut" books.  

I very clearly felt the Lord tell me that she was lonely.   I sat there thinking, "How do I start a conversation?  What do I say?"

We wound up in the same check out line.   She and her books.  Me and my bath rug, hair dryer and washcloths.   Again I feel the Lord nudge me.    Again I am asking, "What do you want me to say?"  I am SO clueless and my doubts are shouting so much louder than anything else in my head.

As we start walking out to the car I am begging, "Lord, I am sorry.  I said I didn't want any regrets and I don't, but please tell me what to do."  

Immediately I knew.  I read!   I read lots of wonderful books.   I pulled every book out of my car that I had.  Even some books that had just come in from my publisher yesterday and I haven't even read yet.   I walked over to her car and said, "Hey!  I saw that you liked to read as much as I do.   I love passing books on after I finish reading so if you are interested I would love to share these with you."   

We had a short conversation about our love of books and I stood there praying over her and her life.   When I walked away I knew that I had planted the seed that God intended this morning.   I also walked away knowing that I almost let my insecurities and doubts prevent me from sharing Jesus with someone.   It is also another lesson of how I "always need to be prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks me for a reason for the hope that is in me."  (1 Peter 3:15)

Family Discipleship

At least once a month if not once a week someone asks me this question: "Why do you homeschool?"   That is not a simple question to answer.   After all, the reason we homeschool today is not the same reason we started homeschooling six years ago.   Each year we reevaluate and pray and make decisions all over again about homeschooling.   So far this is what has been God's will for our family.  

But for right now?   It is all about family discipleship.   I know the days with my boys are getting shorter and shorter.    The urgency I feel to invest in them and plant the seeds that God has for each of them grows every day.

The most precious time of our day is when we come together at night to share about our day, talk and then have our family prayers.   Just counting the time that we have spent since Big Guy was born in family prayer, we have spent about 2,900 hours in prayer.   How do we put a price on that?    There is just no way.    We have prayed days, weeks and even months over things.   We have seen God answer our prayers in miraculous ways.   We have even had God answer our prayers in ways that we didn't understand.   Our faith has been stretched and pulled and grown.   We have held each other up during times of grief and cheered each other during times of victory.  

Memorizing Scripture has always been something we have tried to do, but we haven't been as disciplined as we wanted.    Last year we put up a chalkboard and changed the verse each week to reflect something that was challenging one of us.

For 2014 we have committed to memorize a larger more exact piece of Scripture.   We have decided to memorize the Sermon on the Mount.   Yes.  All 111 verses of Matthew 5, 6 and 7.   *Gulp*  It seems overwhelming when I type it out like that.

However, I came across this idea while reading this blog.   I have printed out her memorization plan and know that memorizing a few verses each week will make this not only manageable, but meaningful.  

New Year 2014: No Regrets

Every year when I think back on the previous year I realize the same thing:  if I had known what the year was going to hold I would have been scared to death.   That is probably why I don't make resolutions.   I know that each day of the year will hold enough challenges on its own without adding anymore to it.   I have been reading a few blogs while watching football with my husband over the past few days and noticed that many people are adopting a word for the coming year.

While we were in Fort Worth, one of the pastors preached a sermon on living the coming year to its fullest so that we had no regrets.   Something about that sermon just resonated with me.   

No regrets.  

Living each day to the fullest.  

That is not one word is it?   But it is definitely how I feel about 2014.   That and this Bible verse...

"He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD and followed completely the ways of his father David, not turning aside to the right or to the left."  2 Kings 22:2

 I can't think of any better way for someone to describe me:  that I did right in the eyes of the Lord?   What an awesome testimony.   That is definitely my prayer for 2014!

Happy New Year, my friends!