The "c" Word

If you are friends with me on Facebook you saw the following post:

After having some time to pray and process with our immediate family and boys, we wanted to share with you some news that we received recently. Donald had surgery two weeks ago to remove a tumor from his face. When the pathology came back, we were told that he has a rare and aggressive form of cancer (rare as in there is not another documented case). We have been on a several week journey of tests, tumor boards, multiple pathologists and consultations. While no one ever wants to hear the “c” word, we can honestly say that God has given us His perfect peace since the first day of discovering this tumor. We already have a growing list of ways that God has answered prayers and provided for us in this journey. While Donald’s treatment plan has not been finalized we do know that it will be aggressive. Our next step will be to travel to another hospital (most likely MD Anderson in Houston, Texas) for a consultation with their team. For all the prayers that have been prayed by our “circle”, we thank you. For all the prayers that will be prayed, we thank you.

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Rules

Rules.   We seem to all have a problem with following them.   It isn't like this is a new thing.   From day one even Adam and Eve couldn't follow one simple little rule.  Don't eat from that one little tree.  One.  Sounds so simple.  Obviously the rest of human history proves that it wasn't. 

Every day I watch the news and I see some other event where a simple rule was ignored and something that could have been avoided ended up in tragedy.

"Don't text in drive."
"No swimming allowed."
"Do not trespass."
Speed limit signs....
Colored flags at the beach...
Yellow lights about to turn red...

You get the idea.  The list goes on and on.  Without even mentioning a specific thing I am sure you are thinking about things that have happened recently.  

This isn't a judgement or condemnation.  I have broken quite a few rules in my life.  As I have thought about this trend of bending, flexing and flat out breaking rules, I can't help but apply it to my spiritual life. 

Those rules that God has given are often just as short and simple as some that are posted in our day to day life.  However, we think bending God's rules aren't any bigger deal than speeding or texting or driving.  

I was just reading some posts of a pretty popular women's Christian author.  In one of her posts she used curse words.   I have noticed it more and more among Christians.   Like it isn't a big deal.  However, God's Word is pretty clear on this.  James says our tongue is to be the rutter to the ships of our thought life.  Ephesians 4:29, says “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”  Even 1 Peter 3:10 says, “For He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.”

Anyway, I have been doing a lot of looking at rules.   Not legalistic rules, but the boundaries that God has given us to bring us closer to him.   The ones that allow me to stay out of the snatches of evil and safely in His arms. 

Trail of Honor

Have you been to the trail of honor?  I think it is one of the best events hosted here in Mississippi.   It covers every American war starting with the French & Indian wars to today's military involvement.  There are demonstration of guns, cannons, tanks, planes, and any other type of military equipment you an imagine.   People come to share their experiences and talk with people about what it was to fight in battle.

"Time Flies" Is Not Just An Idiom

“Albert Einstein was never clear if he believed in time travel, but had he raised a toddler, 

he certainly would have.”  Michael R. French "Once Upon A Lie"

Motherhood is an endless series of letting go.    I should have realized that from the very first day, but I guess I was still in a blur from the endless hours of labor and the new reality of the doctor saying, "It's a boy!" to fully realize it.   They placed this sweet bundle in my arms and our eyes met.   We bonded instantly and the rest of the world faded away.  It felt like a scene from a movie to me.   No sounds.  No hospital room.  Nothing, but the two of us finally seeing each other after a long nine month wait.  However, when the nurse said she needed to take him to get weighed and measured and all those things they do after a baby is born all I could think was....

I am not ready to let him go.

When he used my shoulder to stand up and started tottering across the living room towards my husband, we were mesmerized because he was walking.   The first thought that crossed my mind as I cheered him on was....


I am not ready to let him go.

When I dropped him off in the classroom for his first day of kindergarten I realized that the majority of his day would be spent being influenced by people I didn't even know. As I cried all the way home I realized...

I am not ready to let him go.

Every time he said, "Mom, I can do this by myself now." from reading to riding his bike to building his computer to washing his clothes was a triumph of independence, but it also meant that he needed me less and less.   I knew I was doing my job, but yet again...

I am not ready to let him go.

When he walked across the stage and graduated high school.   I was so proud of him.  Ending this chapter and getting ready for the next one.  But yet again...

I am not ready to let him go.

He just finished his freshman year of college.  He finished with a 4.0 GPA and was inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa honor society.   He did everything on his own and never asked us for any money.  In just a few days he will be leaving to work an internship in Chattanooga.   I am so proud of him.  I wouldn't stop him for anything in the world, but yet again...

I am not ready to let him go.
And it is not just him.   I know that in just another couple of years my other sweet guy will be right behind him.   Both of my sweet guys that God has given me will be out pursuing His will for their lives. 
There is a song that is on the radio right now that gets to me every time I hear it.   It says exactly how my heart feels right now.... SLOW DOWN!  

Once Again God Is Faithful

Making the decision to homeschool was not an easy one.  I don't think there has been one single day where I have not thought, "Am I doing this right?  Am I messing up my boys' entire education?"   Taking control over your child's education is no small matter.  It is a huge thing.  It is consuming.  Am I using the right math?  Are they keeping up with their public school peers?  Are they being challenged?  There are extreme highs and extreme lows. 

My biggest fear was always that once they graduated they would not be prepared for college.   That was my biggest concern from day one.   I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would give me what I needed to prepare my boys. 

Last night I walked into Todd's room and he handed me a letter he received from his college a few weeks ago.    It was congratulating him on making President's Scholar for the first semester.   A perfect 4.0 in his classes.   He was completely unimpressed.   In fact, he was frustrated because making President's Scholar means he has to attend an awards ceremony.  My son is very much an introvert and the thought of anyone paying attention to him just makes him cringe.  He said, "If I had known making a 4.0 would mean an awards ceremony I would  not have done it."   I laughed and reminded him of what else making a 4.0 means -- scholarship money.

I walked to my room and sat down and cried and thanked God for honoring my prayers.  For preparing my sweet son for college.  For using my obedience when he asked me to homeschool my boys despite my shortcomings.   For teaching me yet again that in my weakness He is strong!

Now I have exactly one week to make sure I don't cry when it is time to attend this awards ceremony.  If my sweet guy doesn't like awards ceremonies, he definitely wouldn't like a teary Mom at one.

Breakfast With A Baby

"Breakfast With A Baby"

Baby awake from the cold long night

Awakened by the morning sun so bright.

Smells of doughnuts from down the hall -

All of those doughnuts, can he eat them all?

Big ones, little ones, some only the holes - 

All guaranteed to get all over his clothes.

Full, energized and ready to play.

Breakfast was all the baby needed to start his day.

This sweet couplet was written by Little Guy.  We have been working on poetry for English.   He has different styles he is supposed to create.  The couplet is one of them and as he watched 14 month old Sam one month he came up with this one.  

Do-Over?

It was an innocent conversation.  Really just a few comments said in passing.   My son was telling about how and his friend were talking about all the things their parents wouldn't let them do growing up.   However, what it really boiled down to was the things I didn't let him do when he was little.   His friends started listing things and Todd said, "Nope, my parents didn't let me do that."  

After he left the room I started thinking through the list of things I had "deprived" him of growing up.   If we had another child right now would I let them do those things?   No.  My mind hadn't changed.   I still feel the same way.    Movies, books, video games, television shows, etc... we were careful with what they were exposed to when they were little.    We wanted them to learn to discern.  To have the wisdom to see things with a Biblical worldview.   All of those things took age and  discernment to decide when they were ready. 

In all likelihood my son may let his kids do some of the things we didn't let him do.  If so, that is his decision.   I know that my husband and I have chosen to do things differently than our parents.  

However, my heart is content knowing that we follows His lead in raising our boys in the way He led us. 




"Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take  or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night."   Psalm 1:1-2

Rowing Down the River

The weather finally cooperated this weekend and my husband and Little Guy headed to do something they have had on their "to do" list for a while:  kayak.   It is on my list too, but I don't want to leave Big Guy home alone so until we get him to feeling well again I will wait.  

They packed lunches and plenty of water and headed out early for their 9:00 launch time at Leake County Water Park.  They were so excited.  I didn't know if they would take any photos, but I was so glad they managed to take a few.

Have I ever mentioned that the fact that my husband makes spending time with my boys a priority makes me fall in love with him over and over again?? 

Just A Few Questions

When I first started blogging, these little quizzes popped up every couple of months.   I liked doing them at least once a year just to see what kind of answers I got from the boys.  When I saw someone post this quiz on Facebook I decided to ask them these questions just to see what kind of responses I would get.   Some of their answers really surprised me. 

1. What is something your mom always says to you?
Big Guy:   I love you.
Little Guy:  I love you more than more than more than more.

2. What makes mom happy?
Big Guy::   Reading a book
Little Guy:  A lot of stuff like when I make you bread pudding.  

3. What makes mom sad?
Big Guy:   When Dad is out of town
Little Guy:  When we are sad.  

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Big Guy:   That is a weird question. 
Little Guy:  How do you not make me laugh?

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Big Guy:   I don’t know.  I wasn’t there.
Tanner:  How am I supposed to know that?

6. How old is your mom?
Big Guy:  47
Little Guy:  21  

7. How tall is your mom?  (I am 5’2”)
Big Guy:   5’7”
Little Guy:   5’ 5”

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Big Guy:  read a book
Little Guy:  spend time with us

9. What does she do when you are not around?
Big Guy:  I’m not here!  I am not sure.
Little Guy: shop and do stuff we hate

10. If your mom becomes famous, what would it be for?
Big Guy:  writing/author
Little Guy:   You would be a famous inspirational speaker.

11. What is your mom good at?
Big Guy:  Taking care of people
Little Guy: Everything… especially being a Mom.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Big Guy:   loading the dishwasher in an organized way
Little Guy:  Math

13. What does your mom do for a job?
Big Guy:   take care of us
Little Guy:  You are a MOM!

14. What is your moms favorite food?
Big Guy:   grits
Little Guy:  Do you even have a favorite food?

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Big Guy:  How thoughtful you are
Little Guy:  Proud that you have put all the time you have to help us have a good relationship with God.  That you have given your time and dedication to teach us instead of sending us public school instead of just doing whatever you wanted to all day. 

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be?
Big Guy:   Leslie Knope from Parks & Rec
Little Guy:  Super Woman

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Big Guy:  Talk
Little Guy:   A lot – go places together and spend time together

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Big Guy:   We could both be classified as OCD.
Little Guy:   We are both creative.

19. How are you and your mom different?
Big Guy:  You are an extrovert and I am an introvert.
Little Guy:  I am a teenager and you are an adult.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Big Guy:   You show it in a lot of different ways.
Little Guy:   You tell me every day.  I’ll never forget it.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
Big Guy:  That he makes you laugh a lot.
Little Guy:   You like a lot of things about him. He is very caring and kind.

22. Where is your moms favorite place to go?
Big Guy:   beach
Little Guy:   book store

23. How old was your mom when you were born?
Big Guy:  29
Little Guy:   Well, if you are 21 now….