Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Mom's Love

Life is big when you are 16. I had just gotten my driver's license and I was facing a big Algebra test. So big that I had studied the whole weekend. Math is not my subject. I got up to get ready for school. That is one of the last things I clearly remember. After that I remember flashes. My Daddy's scared face. Paramedics. My friend's faces pressed against the bus window as I was being put into the ambulance. The next thing I remember was hearing voices talking about me in the E.R.. I couldn't wake up, couldn't move, but I could hear. I could also hear crying. I kept thinking, "Don't tell my Mom those things. I am fine. If I could get my eyes to cooperate I could tell her not to be upset and that I am fine." I wasn't scared because I knew I wasn't alone, but I just felt trapped and wanted to wake up. I did what I did in any situation where I am scared, nervous or upset. I chatted. I talked God's ear off. I told him everything that I wanted to tell my Mom and Dad. I asked him what was going on. I reminded Him of every promise that I had read in the Bible, but I talked. After that I woke up again in a hospital where my Mom told me I had been having grand mal seizures.

I was in the hospital about a week after that (I think -- my memory is kind of fuzzy). I would not have made it without my Mom and God by my side. Mom was with me literally every moment of that. My world as I knew it was picked up and shaken like a snowglobe. My precious driver's license which I had possessed for a whopping two weeks was yanked away for a year. I had to start taking medications to control the seizures. Finding one that worked wasn't fun -- hallucinations, chest pains, shaking, nausea, -- yuck. Somehow this wasn't the plan at 16.

I remember that after we got home from the hospital my Mom would get nervous if I got "too quiet". When I left home, I know she was a wreck. Seizures were new to us both and since no one seemed to know what triggered them we were in no-man's land. These were the days before cell phones so it wasn't like I could just text her to check in.

I wish that I could say that I truly appreciated all that Mom went through, but I didn't. Not until I became a Mom.

Tonight I get to go over to Vicksburg for my home church's annual Mother/Daughter banquet. Both of my sister's and my niece are coming too. This is always a lot of fun and frankly it will be therapy for me to be with my Mom and sisters. When we are together there is always a lot of giggling.

I love you, Mom! Thank you for putting up with me. And always loving me.

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