Thursday, December 18, 2008

Slapped With Reality

Isn't it fun to run into people that you used to go to school with or work with or go to church with? I love running into people that I haven't seen in a while and catching up on how they are doing. I get so embarassed when I can't remember names, but other than that it is usually a good thing.

Until yesterday! I was out shopping trying to find something for hubs' company Christmas party. It is always a really nice party at the company president's home. It is in a private gated community and several of the families open their homes so you can walk through sampling the different foods, listening to the bands out in the circle, and even roasting marshmallows around the different fireplaces.

I was walking through a store on my way into the mall when I heard my voice. I turned and saw someone that I had worked with in high school. I said hello and asked how she had been doing. She didn't answer my question, the very first thing out of her mouth was this:

"Girl, I haven't seen you since high school and you have gotten so FAT! How did you let yourself get so fat?"

My first reaction was shock, but then I just laughed and said, "I'm glad you pointed that out to me."

Don't get me wrong. What she said hurt me... to my core. And she is right. I am fat. I need to lose weight in a big kind of way. However, after 24 years of not seeing someone I just wasn't expecting that to be the first thing out of her mouth.

It's said that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. It's also said the truth hurts. Yesterday... it stung like a slap across the face.


hip chick said...

Oh my! How very very rude and hurtful of her.
The only thing I can say is that she must have led a very sad life herself to be able to say such a thing to you.
No one with any sense of class or humility would ever say such a think to anyone.
Please rememeber that we are all God's children and that he loves us all.
Perhaps you could use this as a motiviation to lose weight if that is something you need or want to do. Other than that I really wouldn't let her comments bring you down.
Clearly, she has some issues of her own.
I'm sorry this happened to you.

Willow said...

Hi, Deanna. I'm not going to say anything about whether you need to lose weight or not. That's up to you. I know I got a rude awakening the other day when I saw a pic of my Bible study group on the wall in the women's building at church. I knew I was fat but... yikes.

My point is this: That person you ran into? She is truly blind. She didn't see your huge heart, your compassion, your love for God, your devotion to your family and friends. She didn't see the way your smile goes all the way up to your eyes (even I can see that in the pics I have seen of you and that's not even in person). She didn't see the JOY that is you. She didn't see the REAL Deanna at all. Her loss. I see the real you every time you post or with every email we have exchanged. You are truly beautiful.

Even your reaction to her was beautiful. Most of us would have blown a gasket or me, I would have cried.

Now -- where is she so I can smack her silly?

Sharon said...

Rudeeeeee, Just plain RUDEEEEEE!! Friends like that we don't need in our lives. I am sure she has her faults as well. She has a HARD HEART, and must be living a hard life. But we cannot Judge, pray over her my sister, ask the Lord to remove that hard heart, to pour the blood over her, ask him to handle this situation. It's obvious she is looking at the outer part of someone and not the inner, otherwise she would of seen how beautiful your heart is!!!!!

I am over weight, and since my brothers death it seems like I gained some weight and I don't look as young as I did before this, at least thats what I see.
I am not saying it's a new years resolution but after new years I am going to make some ajustments of my own. And I pray with God's strength I will tackle this!
Huggggggggs and Loveeeee to you my friend.
I am so happy to have met you here!
I see only your heart, you are beautiful!!
Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!
Sharon :)

amusing moments said...

you should have said.... wow! and you have gotten uglier! (Just kidding!) I cannot believe she said that!! WHO DOES THAT???? She must have REAL problems...

Dr. Wifey said...

oh my gosh, that is so incredibly tacky! you took it better than i would have for sure

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

It's one of those moments that later I wish I would have said "Well it's been a recent thing. How long have you been a bitch?"

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Ok... I knwo that wasn't nice but SERIOUSLY??? What in the world was she thinking?

Buzzard Roost Babe said...

Rude people ! I am sorry... that is just sad .....that the only thing she remembered about you was that you were thinner... I believe some people leave our lives for a reason, and it is because the add nothing to yours ! They just take away from you ... Love yourself no matter what size you are.... Pounds come and they go, but you remain ! I read your blog everyday, and you are a very beautiful person inside and out. Sounds like this rude individual just does not like happy people!

mayberry said...

Oh Deanna. I am so sorry that you had this experience.

I hurt for you.

K Storm said...

That is not the kind of person I would want to have a "reunion" with. Most people grow, change and mature...some remain adolescent in their head.

I am much heavier than my high school days and I could feel the looks at my 20th reunion. Even though I have so much to be thankful for and so many blessings in my life, that stuff hurts.

Supermom said...

That is the saddest, rudest, most shocking thing I have read in a while.

That woman needs help because only a person with issues would say something like that.

Wyatt Earp said...


I know you wouldn't, but I wish you would have slapped her in the mouth for that.

Jenn said...

I'm always shocked by how rude and hurtful some people can be ! I'm sorry you had to hear that, I know it would have hurt my feelings too .

Kayra said...

wow, how rude! I guess there is a reason why you hadn't seen her in over 20 yrs, she is not worth having in your life.

From the Doghouse said...

Yesterday... it stung like a slap across the face.

Speaking of slaps ...

i'm black betty said...

why in the world would anyone say that to another person? i would have slapped that b*tch across the face. she needs some manners.

i'm so sorry, deanna.

Sara said...

That is very rude and insensitive. Imagine if we all walked up to people and immediately commented on their faults..."you're fat, you're bald, your hair is too poofy, or whatever." What a nasty world this would be! I am sorry that you were hurt. We all have things that we could change about ourselves, but we don't always need other people pointing it out. I am amazed by some people's rudeness.

HEATHER said...

OH MY LAWD!! What a B$#@h!!!
That is the rudest thing I have ever heard! She must have been raised in a barn!
Your reaction to her was perfect, although I might have included a few unprintable words along with it and walked away.
Just remeber, you have FMS and a lot of the meds really play havoc with your weight. Amitrytaline especially-it is what started me on the path to weight gain. I now weigh twice what I weighed in HS.
What Willow said is right, that witch didn't see your big heart!
I am so sorry this happened to you. (((HUGS)))

gingela5 said...

Oh my goodness! How could anyone say that?! Did she lose her sensor button over the years?! I'm sorry someone told you that! See you're much better than I would have been--I would have found something wrong with her and shot right back! I'm sorry she said that to you!

Felicity said...

That's just insantiy Deanna! I do love what you said back to her. I used to get the whole "omg you're fat!" in high school to which I would mock surprise and say "Really? Oh wow, thank you for telling me. I never knew!"


Melissa B. said...

The nerve! A total stranger asked a friend of mine once when she was due. But she wasn't!

Deanna said...

Thanks! Thanks so much for all your great and sometimes HILARIOUS words of encouragement.

I have thought about this girl all day. I don't know... kind of just wondering what made her so bitter. I have prayed for her a lot too because I really think she has a LOT of hurt inside to have "lots her sensor button" as Gingela said.

WandaM;) said...

Another prime example of how people, especially southerners, think they can say whatever comes to mind any time they want ! We talk about how rude northerners are - standoffish - but apparently they have something on some of us southerners :-) Rude can be ugly comments and rude can be not speaking but..............ditto to all posts. That was horrible!

Roz said...

Wonder what makes people think it's ok to say things like that...are they even from this planet..I mean really..

and honey I know how you feel..when people get mad at me the first thing they say is "that fat b*** or that fat a##...but it usually comes after I have given them a good dose of my truth to them..hahaha which I guess would make us